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stormgirl49
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Name: Becca
Location: Vermont, United States
Birthday: 4/16/1988
Gender: Female
Interests: Writing,reading,singing, playing video games, watching tv,exploring outside,shopping,spending time with my friends and drawing, listening to music, debating, ANIME and MANGA!!!!
Expertise: making people laugh,gaming, writing, singing and drawing, cooking
Occupation: Bakery Worker
Industry: Other
Message: message meEmail: email me
Website: visit my website
AIM:  shyangel800
MSN: stormgirl49
Yahoo:  dragonprincess675
Member Since:
11/3/2004
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| Look inside my looking glass Tell me what you see Can you see the monster, That is becoming me? Can you see the hatred, Locked inside my eyes? The blood upon my hands, As it slowly dries? Do you see my tears As I realize what I've become? Do you know my fears Of who made me what I am? In a downward spiral, Of constant pain and tears All I feel is anger Love can't reach me here I hide behind fake smiles To pretend I'm still alive They don't see past my plastic eyes Or that I'm dead inside The looking glass reflects it all I cannot escape the sight, Of a monster sobbing All throughout the night. | | |
| What is this feeling Ripping through my chest? Make it stop, please make it stop I hate it The tears keep coming, I can't stop them I don't want to feel anymore Make it stop, please...don't make me beg I can't take the pain I can't take the darkness It's consuming me | | |
| I got a call from Baba Louie's bakery in chester. (so close to home  ) They want me to work thursdays and fridays starting this thursday! I'm so excited!!! Not many hours to start with, but hey, it's something right?  | | |
| Days go by endlessly,endlessly Picking me apart Losing ideas in the mess I call my brain Everything is so different yet its all the same Endless days keep going by Suck away my life Leave my empty shell These days hold nothing but uncertainty Nothing but pain For eternity I'll watch these days go by I wish I could go with them... | | |
| Life fucking sucks. I was totally in love with this guy, who said that he loved me too, and sent me the sweetest e-mails, and was even going to leave his girlfriend, who was pissing him off. For me, all for me... sounds great right? WRONG! He says he never even wrote me any e-mails, and that he hasn't been online in weeks, he's still with her, and here's the kicker... he's fucking marrying her!!! What the Fuck?!And to top it all off, I think SHE was writing to me the entire time, Why? because she's a conniving bitch who likes to hurt others(which is true i know her in person) I know that you all are going to say 'oh well there are plenty of other fish in the sea' or 'fuck him, he's an asshole, you can find someone better' or 'well I guess that means you weren't meant to be' .... you know what? I don't want any other fish... I want him, I don't want anyone better, because he is better...despite what you're reading about him now. And I know we were meant to be because I fucking felt it... From the bottom of my heart I felt it, and now that he's out of my reach... I feel it too. 10x's as bad. I love him with all my heart, I'm not afraid to admit it... besides what have I got to lose now? I've already lost half my heart.
Well, my father's funeral is tomorrow...*sigh* I hate funerals, they talk about how wonderful a person is, and how god will take care of them... Fuck you, god doesn't exist, he's nothing more than a security blanket for all of these crazy religious bastards who think that there is something beautiful after death. Dead is dead...there is nothing, how can there be? in a world without magic how can this wonderful place called Heaven exist? God is supposed to love his children right? You call this love? No, if there is a god all he likes to do is pick me up and throw me back down so he can stomp on me. Repeatedly. But I digress...
I miss my father deeply, you know that phrase, 'you never know what you had until it's gone'? Well I know what they mean now. And yet I can't bring myself to cry, I can cry for a lost love, but I can't cry for my father. Why? I can cry for my mother whose pain is so evident, I can cry for myself for what I've lost, but I cannot cry for him... is it because I knew how much pain he was in? Yes that must be it. I can't cry for him, because I know that now he doesn't have to hurt anymore... how could I be sad, when he is finally free? Easy, I can't. All I can say is: Dad I love you, even though I didn't always say it. I love you, and please watch over me and mom... I know your spirit is there... so please.
I've nothing left to say, so time to get on with my day.
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